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Better Me!

Past to Present: Lies to Truth: Exist to Growth

Crazy how one life event can open so much. To a point of reviling other peoples skeletons. Those skeletons then attack another innocent person and their life. During this time, creating little tiny beans that grew up and knew to be better then the past environment. It is very sad, pathetic, and fearful of what each generation brings to the next generation. It actually is quit sad that the authorities (parents, family member, boss, spouse, etc..) and take advantage of their authority. It is also quit mind boggling to think one has that much power of authority. It breaks my heart that weakness was stronger then doing right. What keeps a person closed minded to the truth? How and what continues to lurk inside these people to continue to violate others? Then turn around and justify their action. To justify their action to the point if not strong it will destroy that person.

Do we excuse past behavior to keep it silent? Is it silent because it has not resurfaced yet? Does it mean different generations it’s justifiable? Does it mean Different titles its justifiable? Does it mean excuses and blaming is tolerated to rid your horrible choice on another person who is at no fault? Do you justify and truly believe your validation to rid you of your choice so you do not have to take responsibility?

Taking responsibility for yourself, your actions, your choices, your words, your behavior leads to life of freedom and peace. Taking ownership of self frees you from what holds you back. You can’t change the past. You can’t control anyone but yourself. You can only move forward and better yourself. Your actions, choices, behavior effect those around you. What kind role model are you? What kind of sample are you setting? What kind of effect is your presence? Are you the continuous problem? Why is it so hard to take responsibility for self?

How do you forgive those you love, those you trust, those you respected, strangers, friends, family, choices, decisions, behaviors, actions, words, reactions and the truth? How do you let go of the suffering, the unknown, the pain, the behavior, the fear? How do you grow and move forward from the environment one has known their entire life? What does it take to be better then your past, your destruction, your self pity, your self excuses, your self titles?

What in your life is stopping you from moving forward? You have this one life. Do you choose destruction or growth? But I hope you choose Growth for the importance of your one life. Moving forward is doing something for your self each day. Rather it is getting out of bed the first day, eating a salad, cleaning your house, walk, making it on time for appointment or work, reading, researching, saying no, tackling your self that is steps forward no matter what the step is. We tend to forget we all live a different life. We follow and not lead. Why live someone’s else’s life when you have your life right in front of you. It’s your creation, your life, you and only you create your life but all I can say you have to work for life you want unless you are that fortunate one who gets it handed. Biggest advise I pass to you is give your negativity, your past, and your future barely to no time (thoughts, in your head) and let it go. Be in the NOW! Give your time to being present and tackling moving forward.

To give advice is easy but doing the work is hard. I write about myself and pushing to be better. What helps me to be better, to move forward. Life is hard and truly we are alone. I will continue to write about myself to help myself grow. To help others realize their worth and we all have a story. Some are plain Jane and others or wild, crazy, and unfortunate. Thank you for taking your time to read. Shereen Leyden

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Better Me!

Comparison: Self vs Others mindset vs destruction

How often do you compare yourself to others? Why? When is comparison helpful? When is comparison damaging? Why do our brains use comparison to figure out how to measure up to other people?

I truly feel in some way we all compare ourself to one another. We compare I feel because of what the other person is capable of doing. We compare the worse of ourselves to the best we see in others. When we compare we have resentment towards others and towards ourself. I feel comparison is a negative and anxious thought that is beyond hard, I feel, to come out of. I feel comparison makes one feel less then, starts silence, less active, damages self esteem, feeling of worthless, feeling of not being enough, jealousy, envy, depression, anxiety, over spending, affects the ability to trust, and takes away from YOU.

Does comparison have value? Does comparison have true meaning? Does comparison fulfill your life? Does comparison add to what you want defining you? Does comparison make you stronger? Does comparison motivate you? Does comparison get you outside your comfort zone? Does comparison add to your uniqueness?

If comparison is making you who you are not. If comparison is destroying you. It is time to stop. START tackling comparison by getting rid of what creates it. I feel social media has huge part of comparing self to others. Turn it off and take a break. Journal if you need to so you can compare the difference. You need to practice gratitude and make it a habit. Put the time and energy into your own life. Create the life, the you, you want to be. Stop comparing your self to the highlight, spotlight, none reality moments and realize it is not the complete story you are comparing too. You are meant for this life for a reason so focus on you, focus on your strengths, focus on what you want defining you as YOU, and focus on your accomplishments small and big. Instead of comparing yourself to others cheer them on and be happy for them. Understand it is their accomplishment, it is their journey, it is them being a better me. So be happy for other people. Never take what is not yours. Try to compare against yourself before you compare yourself to others. Setting boundaries is a must across the board, with people, with social media, with television, with what takes away from you becoming YOU. Stop impulse buying, stop fearing that you will miss out, don’t be annoyed by others success, don’t delete because it didn’t get enough response, and stop always checking who liked your post. Just let it be and one day it will be viewed by the right person.

So focus on you! Focus on your life! Focus on what you want defining you! Focus on what makes you happy! Focus on gratitude! Focus on keeping up with self. Focus on comparing yourself to yesterday. YOU ARE ENOUGH! Be true, Be YOU!

”It’s one of the most basic ways we develop an understanding of who we are, what we’re good at, and what we’re not so good at”.

Thomas Mussweiler – professor of organizational behavior, describes comparison

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Better Me!

Ask Yourself….

WHO? WHY? WHAT? WHEN? WHERE? HOW? Are you stuck or losing control? Do you feel that change needs to happen but you already think about failing? Who is helping you and who is stopping you? What gets you moving and what halts you? When are you lifting self up and when are you tearing self down? Where are you at in life? How will you accept change? What is your passion? What motivates you? I can ask thousand more questions. But truly ask yourself if you are where you want to be right now? If you are then I am so happy that you found you and that you accept and deal with everything that comes your way. That you squashed the excuses and you just tackle you. That you are not wasting time but embracing and doing you! But if you are NOT where you want to be right now in your life then let me help you by researching, finding tools and you doing the work for self. Remember what works for me might not work for you. Just take what works for you, so you will be better self.

Do you Realize and Know your true self worth, strength, courage, beauty, acceptance, and the warrior in you! Is it time to STOP with what is not working. Grab the tools that are working and go different direction, start a new journey, path or new chapter.

Advice from a stranger, “you are not guaranteed your life and those around you are not guaranteed their life. You can either become who this world needs, who you want to be or you can continue to waste your life wishing, wants and could haves. I truly feel everyone eyes open on their own time, what works for one doesn’t mean it will work for you. Be who you are meant to be and do not let people change you. Change for yourself because YOU realize you can be better. Change because you are ready to show this world what you are capable of. Listen and accept the advice that shows your true colors, opens your eyes, keeps you on track and makes you better. Don’t waste time listening to what pulls you down, those that don’t believe in you or understand, your own self lies, and ones who do not try. Understand you are only alone when you are silent. When you speak up people are everywhere. Own it when it is yours to OWN and pass it to the right owner for ownership without getting involved. Understand your imperfections are you. Why hide or try to get rid of what makes you, YOU! Spread your story and acknowledge YOU for you. It is you being you that gives others the strength or inspiration to be “better me”. Forgive and let go and let your heart start healing. Remember gratitude, thankfulness, and gratefulness always specially during the hard moments.”

My opinion: One struggle I have noticed lately is acceptance. Seems no matter ones opinion, belief, stance, likes, values, differences, ethnics, heritage, personal stories, respect, actions or reason something is always not accepted, read wrong, took out of context, or offensive. Acceptance of others is lacking listening skills, respect, and kindness of ones opinion, ideas, values, worth, belief, stance, culture, heritage, ideas, and knowledge. Acceptance of self and acceptance of others these days just seems we are in chaos all around us. I feel nothing is correct these days. Past is huge target and today is huge target, which makes the future a huge target. When will you start tackling who you want to be and get rid of who you don’t want to be? When will you stop interfering in others life and tackle our own life? If you can’t tackle yourself, household and life what makes you feel you can tackle the entire world? Do you accept self and all its imperfections and realize your self worth? Acceptance of ONE needs to be brought back into society. Jokes should be just jokes, opinion should be opinion, books are books and tools used to learn, reconnect, unconnected and get lost in time, history is history we learn not take away, racism we grow, unlearn, learn, relearn, listen and accept and not target and throw in faces, gender is gender just let a person have the opportunity to find their self, colors are just colors, children should be children, a name is just a name don’t put title on it, voice is a voice should be heard without being ridiculed, person is a person be careful how you judge them, and it just keeps going.

I am continuously unlearning, relearning, learning, owning self, and working to be better me. A Journey I am discovering and writing about at Sher-eenann.org